New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
