I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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