What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
