my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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