dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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