so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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