I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
