Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The adults are the big ones right?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
