do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
