Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize