Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
