The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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