I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
