You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
