you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
