batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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