Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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