i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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