So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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