Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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