carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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