So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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