and i looked up. we had an audience...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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