Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize