did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
