I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
As shirtless as possible
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
