Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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