Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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