It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
