One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
