It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
