Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
