I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
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He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
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ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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