so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
