I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
