All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
they need to just BURY HIM!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dear god my vagina.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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