Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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