i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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