What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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