I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she told me i tasted like america
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
