i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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