I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
