You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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