How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
