In the future we'll all be gay
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
