dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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