Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
