you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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