Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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