everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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