You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
