Its about making memories worth repressing
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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