God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
