just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
