Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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