Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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