whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
