PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
