like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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