I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
