You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
